Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
