can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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