literally had 100 drinks last night.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
