I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
