We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
