oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
