Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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