yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
