I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
