she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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