You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
