New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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