so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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