***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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