Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
