u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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