hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
