New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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