He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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