Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
