OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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