remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Panties = found
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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