She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
