Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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