No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
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She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
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Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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