In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
too bad you live with your parents still
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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