You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
