i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
