I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
