I hate all girls vehemently.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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