Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
