so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
are you so shy because you have an std?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
