who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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