Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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