a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
