you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
