Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
