I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
