i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
