I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
