It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
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