OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
