He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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