Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
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he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
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And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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