Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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