Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
