ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
