i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
