And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
