i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Randomize
