I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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