Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
What drink are we having for lunch?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
