I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
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And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
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He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
where are my pants?
in the oven.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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