When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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